5 ways to be a perfect house guest

Written by guest 9 August 2012 4 Comments

My roommate and I have a spare room in our flat. It has been spare only in theory the last few months. We seem to have a steady flow of house guests through that small rear room with the round bed and mismatched blankets. We live transient lives in a transient city, and there is almost always someone visiting from out of town or in between housing to occupy our guestroom. After hosting an especially exceptional house guest, I got to thinking about the small things that made me adore or despise the current occupant of that room. There is a big difference between a being a temporary contributing member of the household and an unconscientious freeloader. I have done my best to define and outline the ways to make your hosts adore you.

This post is intended for longer-term houseguests (one week or longer) staying with friends, relatives, or friends of friends. It most likely doesn’t apply if you are crashing on a couch in your friend’s college pad next to dirty pizza boxes. Take my advice as situations arise. You are being put up on the couch or spare room assumingly because your hosts like you, want to help you out, and/or want some fresh life in the house. Help cultivate a reciprocal relationship. Go into your new temporary home with gratitude. On the flip side don’t be afraid to pack up and leave if they expect you to be their maid or plaything. Here are five points to remember when striving to be a perfect houseguest, so every night is a fun slumber party!

1. Clean- Just pick up after yourself. Keep your area and your belongings organized and neat. If you are sleeping on the couch put away your bedding in the morning. If there are a few dirty dishes in the sink, wash them. Sweep the kitchen. Vacuum the living room. Wipe down the counters. You don’t need to scrub the floors or rearrange the cabinets (that would kind of creep me out), but doing the basics for your hosts will earn you major points. A word of advice – some people have very specific ways to do things, if your hosts are the kind of people who iron their underwear or shine their silverware, then just stick to things you can’t mess up.

2. Respect- Adhere to basic new roommate principles. Tread softly. Keep music low. Ask before you invite anyone over. Don’t cook bacon in a vegan household. Don’t break in your new tap shoes while your hosts are nursing hangovers. Don’t call your boyfriend who’s backpacking in Siberia on the house phone. Be aware of your surroundings and incorporate yourself into them. (And hey, if your hosts want to stay up all night drinking fine tequila with you, then who are you to say no?)

3. Little things- My friend Jen, who I met on my last trip to Costa Rica, recently stayed in our spare room for what was supposed to be a few weeks. It grew into a few months of her staying rent free. Why? We would come home to a clean house, flowers in the kitchen, and scented candles in the bathroom. It was divine. My friend Chelsea extended her guest stay by baking weekly pies. Any little and nice thing to go above and beyond and let your hosts know how grateful you are will be appreciated. Ideas: pies, flowers, beer, wine, scented candles, fresh baked cookies, dinner, making coffee in the morning. Even just a nice note will go a long way.

4. Replace- There are certain inexpensive household items that everyone uses and constantly run out. Unless there is a house Mommy who keeps an inventory, it usually falls on whoever uses the last of something or is the first to discover it is out to purchase another. If you realize something is low or out that falls into this category, then just replace it. Examples: toilet paper, paper towels, dish soap, sponges, vacuum bags, coffee, butter, salt, olive oil, or the house caviar supply.

5. Girl Scout Rule- Leave it better than you found it. This rule encompasses all the others. You have been invited into someone else’s home and have a FREE safe warm place to come home to every night and store your belongings. Treat it with love, and believe me, it will be appreciated and you will be welcomed back in the future. You are also setting a precedent for when people come and visit you in your own home! What goes around comes around. ‘Nuff said.

Does anyone have angel or devil house guest or host stories? I want to hear them! Please leave in the comments below.

photos by le regard ailleurs

* post written by Kyra Bramble. To read more of Kyra’s, check out her website.

Tags: couch, house, house guest, housetrip, how to, people, personal experiences, staying over, tips

4 Comments »

matilda said:

oh how i dream of flatmates like you describe…

we currently rent our spare room out to short term paying guests… i have never had such a hideous experience in all my life… the ad in the paper clearly states CLEAN and QUIET… if we didnt need the money so bad they would be out on their derriere’s.

They left dirty dishes in the sink for first 3 weeks, i had to ask 5 times before point was taken. now they do wash up they leave sink full of food scraps

never takes rubbish or recycling out to big bins
never takes big bins to curb (they obviously takes themselves out)
never shuts screen doors (not a tent, mozzies have eaten me alive) when they do manage to shut it, it is slammed so hard we all jump out of our skin praying the glass doesnt break.
never puts washing machine on eco wash
never empties ashtrays

leaves personal belongings and dirty coffee cups in shared areas

leaves kitchen floor a mess after cooking every night and never sweeps

does nothing all day but has a bath at 6pm when people that have worked all day and want to shower

the list goes on and on… How does one cope with such careless filthy pigs?

doesn’t help i am OCD.

# 9 August 2012 at 6:27 am

Phoenix said:

UGH! so true! i just had to gently push out a good friend that i was letting crash here… He was messy, had a bit of a drinking problem and sort of expected me to watch his kid while he was at work… i asked him to do a couple things around the house while he was here for THREE WEEKS, none of which got done… and two of the things i asked him to fix, HIS KID broke them…

and on the flip side, now i have my cousin crashing here. He mowed the lawn, did the dishes, fixed the broken things, even cleaned up after the dog!!! and he’s only been here 3 days!

when someone says: “Make yourself at home!” I do! I get comfy, use their dishes, drink their beer, eat their food… BUT that is how my circle of friends are… i would be offended if i found out somebody was hungry or beverage deprived in MY house! Whenever we leave our friends, it’s always cleaner than when we got there! I have a tradition of going out for ladies night and crashing on my gal’s couch, in the morning i do her dishes and tidy up her house before i leave… it’s a good policy, when you care about people, SHOW them!

# 9 August 2012 at 3:16 pm

lorna said:

I’ve experienced a few “freeloading” house guests over the past few years but one’s thing for sure – I think I might send this mail to all future visitors just so the message is clear on how to be the perfect guest

# 14 August 2012 at 8:54 am

Eden said:

Hey! Your blogs popped up in my fb feed and I first have to say I love all of them! I can totally relate to all of your tips and advice on traveling ( I recently got back from living in Buenos Aires and travel student style on a budget all them time.) This one hit home particularly hard as I spend half the year in school and the other half in SF and my house and friends have always been the gypsying kind.

I am a natural house-mama and love nothing more than to wake up to a house full of friends and music and laughs. However, this past year has been a huge wake-up concerning guests. In SF my boyfriend and I had one, often two, spare bedrooms and we are always open to new friends and guests but we began really requiring our own space after a few not-so-gracious guests.

We had one person who was staying with us for a bit invite a friend who continually needed attention. If you are my guest I love to be around you I want you there even, but this guest was the last-to-sleep-first-to-wake type who felt entitled to come in to my bedroom whenever they felt like it. My boyfriend and I woke one night to find this guest knocking loudly on our door. They had had “too much caffein” and couldn’t sleep! One huge rule in our house quickly became: if you don’t live there and it isn’t an emergency, upstairs is off limits until we are awake, come down and invite you. This rule is applicable in the morning and at night. If your a guest there are books, a beautiful view, we always leave you a set of spare keys in the bowl so its totally unnecessary to wake up your hosts and invade their privacy.

Also, just because there is dinner doesn’t mean we can afford to feed you. Contribute please! Pick up stuff to add and what ever you leave around the house is fair game to eat unless specified. Help clean up after the party if you spend the night please! the workload is lessened to an extreme extent when everybody helps bring the cups to the sink! Toilet paper comes from trees but money doesn’t grow on them! It really adds up when toilet paper. If your a guest fit in to our lives. Your welcome to come along on our activities but don’t be controlling or demanding. Remember you are part of our lives and we yours but you need to be flexible with what we want to do with our days. Ask before borrowing. I cant count the times people have used a special vase as a cup or taken the sweater my grandmother has knitted me to sit on. It could be special so just ask. Guests are so loved and fun but theses ground rules really assist in making it financially and economically feasible to open our home.

# 28 November 2012 at 6:12 pm